“- Ellen Mitchell: What do you do for a living?
- Dave Kovic: When I'm not running the country?
- Ellen Mitchell: Yeah.
- Dave Kovic: I run a temp agency. You know, secretaries and stuff.
- Ellen Mitchell: So you find people jobs.”

Sigourney Weaver - Ellen Mitchell
Kevin Kline - Dave Kovic

“- Bob Alexander: I'm going to kill him.
- Alan Reed: You can't kill a President.
- Bob Alexander: He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.”
Frank Langella - Bob Alexander
Kevin Dunn - Alan Reed

“- Crease: Now what are you saying, the NSA killed Kennedy?
- Mother: No, they shot him but they didn't kill him. He's still alive.”
Sir Sidney Poitier - Crease
Dan Aykroyd - Mother

“- News Reporter: Mr. Vanderhoff, would you care to comment on the rumor that President Roosevelt has been assassinated?
- Vincent Vanderhoff: Guys, how am I supposed to know that? I haven't been upstairs yet. Excuse me.”

Fred Willard - Vincent Vanderhoff

“Hello, Mr. President. Alex, what a suprise. I get to kill two for the price of one!”
David Patrick Kelly - Tommy Ray Glatman