“God, watch this! God! Using an army of outside northern black beast agitators determined to overthrow the God-commanded and biblically inspiredrule of the white race. It's an international Jewish conspiracy. May God bless us all.”
Alec Baldwin - Dr. Kennebrew Beauregard

“- Bugs Bunny: we need your help!
- Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!
- Bugs Bunny: Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor.”

Billy West - Bugs Bunny
Michael Jordan - Himself

“C'mon, Michael! It's game time! Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we'll pick up a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark.”
Wayne Knight - Stan Podolak

“- Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.
- Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!”
Michael Jordan - Himself
Bill Murray - Himself

“- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: It's a championship Laker watch.
- Cindy Mae: Oh, are you a Laker?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I used to date one - only thing I have to remember him by.”
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
Constance Shulman - Cindy Mae