“- Jeremy: Do you ever think about suicide?
- Masseuse: No!
- Jeremy: I'm going to commit suicide. When I'm thirty.
- Masseuse: Why?
- Jeremy: I don't want to get old, do you?”
Greg Cruttwell - Jeremy
Carolina Giammetta - Masseuse

“- The Devil: How would you like to make one simple decision that'll change your life forever?
- Elliot Richards: Ok, I'm glad scientology works for you but.”
Liz Hurley - The Devil
Brendan Fraser - Elliot Richards

“- Karen Kelly: Are you saying you want Peyton to live here with you?
- Joe Kingman: Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
- Karen Kelly: You haven't even been in her life.
- Joe Kingman: That's not my fault. I didn't even know she existed! And we've come such a long way in a short time.”
Paige Turco - Karen Kelly
The Rock - Joe Kingman

“I thought I had my life mapped out. But then I remembered what my Nonlinear Equations professor once told me, always account for variable change.”
Jim Sturgess - Ben Campbell

“All the arguing in the world can't change the decision of the umpire.”
Gary Cooper - Lou Gehrig