“Technically, they're retreating. But strategically, they're advancing.”
Robin Williams - Jakob

“- John Patrick Mason: All I know is that you were big in Vietnam, I saw the highlights on television.
- General Francis X. Hummel: Then you probably have no idea what it means to lead some of the finest men on God's earth into combat and then watch their memories get betrayed by their own fucking government.”
Sir Sean Connery - John Patrick Mason
Ed Harris - General Francis X. Hummel

“Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire... so, that's fun. I think that's funny. Because he was a mass-murdering fuck-head!”
Eddie Izzard - Himself

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“Stop torturing me. The Germans are already doing a fine job.”
Robin Williams - Jakob