“If I had words to make a day for you, I’d sing you a morning golden and true, I would make this day last for all time, then fill the night deep in moonshine.”

James Cromwell - Farmer Arthur H. Hoggett

“So they are weird in the morning, but they're even weirder at night?”

Ed Oxenbould - Tyler

“Alan Harper-Looks like you had a tough night.
Charlie Harper-No, the night was great. It's the morning that's killing me!
”
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“The streets were dark with something more than night.”
Edward G. Robinson - Professor Richard Wanley

“- Chazz Michael Michaels: The night is a very dark time for me...
- Jimmy MacElroy: It's dark for everyone, moron!
- Chazz Michael Michaels: Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles!”
Will Ferrell - Chazz Michael Michaels
Jon Heder - Jimmy MacElroy