“- Oda Mae Brown: I know you don't think I'm giving this 4 million dollars to a bunch of nuns!
- Sam Wheat: Think of it this way, you'll go to Heaven.
- Oda Mae Brown: I don't want to go to Heaven, I want to go to the bank and cash a goddamn check!”
Whoopi Goldberg - Oda Mae Brown
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“- Michael Dunn: If Gram sees you smoking she'll have a heart attack.
- Boo: If she's hears you talking about not being a priest she'll have a stroke.”
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn
Jennifer Dundas - Boo

“- Brother Timothy: Most people can't figure it out. My brother was the one who was supposed to have the vocation. Me, they had me written off as the bum. But here I am, wearing a robe, bouncing a ball off the steps of the rectory.
- Michael Dunn: Was your brother a bum?
- Brother Timothy: Sort of. Sells life insurance down in Maryland.”
John Heard - Brother Timothy
Andrew McCarthy - Michael Dunn

“- Lieutenant: Open this door in the name of His Holiness the Bishop of Aquila.
- Imperius: Be off with you. This is a house of God, not a brothel.
- Lieutenant: I said open this door in the name of His Grace, the Bishop of Aquila.
- Imperius: I've met the bishop, you blasphemous lout. And you look nothing like him.”
Russel Case - Lieutenant
Leo McKern - Imperius

“You knew that whore and you didn't tell anyone. You're a priest, a priest. How's that going to look in the papers.”

Charles Durning - Jack Amsterdam