“You're getting so good, you even got your shadow scared.”

Huntz Hall - Limpy

“There's nothing wrong with your marriage. You just have to resell it once in awhile.”

Harry Davenport - Jones

“- Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl: I have a girl of nine who won't listen to what's right. She always does what's wrong. What should I do?
- Larry Haines: Wait ten years, and if there's no improvement... send me her number.”

Nell Craig - Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl
Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“- Omar: What are you going to do with me?
- Uncle Nasser: What am I going to do with you? Turn you into something damn good.”
Gordon Warnecke - Omar
Saeed Jaffrey - Uncle Nasser

“I was never great. I was pretty good. I was great for around here. Every year I got better. The people remember me in my prime. The kids always ask me about the 6 touchdown passes against Porterville.”

Kurt Russell - Reno Hightower