“Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.”

Everett Sloane - Mr. Bernstein

“- Jack Putter: How do you treat that?
- Dr. Greenbush: Well the medieval remedy was to flay the skin off your body with brands of fire. I have no idea what the current technique is.”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
William Schallert - Dr. Greenbush

“- Abe: I'm glad you came, doctor. Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with my hand - it's been like this for a month.
- Lisa: Have you tried soaking it in melted butter?”
Alan King - Abe
JoBeth Williams - Lisa

“- Henry: Beth, tomorrow is the least of our problems.
- Beth: Don't tell me, oh, don't tell me, don't even tell me you have crabs!
- Henry: No... Yes, but that's not the point. ”
David Hyde Pierce - Henry Newman
Janeane Garofalo - Beth

“- Martin Brundle: You were there the night my father died; he was working on a cure.
- Stathis Borans: That's why you dragged yourself all the way out here? To find out about a cure?
- Martin Brundle: You're my only hope.”
Eric Stoltz - Martin Brundle
John Getz - Stathis Borans