You know what? Just go to Stanford anyway. Go there and take the classes. Don't take "no" for an answer. Just say "I'm goin' here. Kiss my ass".

Jack Black - Lance Brumder

“Dammit! I can't sit here on my tail feathers, feeling sorry for myself. I've got to think about practical matters. Food. Shelter. A job!”
Chip Zien - Howard T. Duck

“But I don't need the class schedule. I only come to this country to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy.”
Cerina Vincent - Areola

“- Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
- Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.”
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Christine Taylor - Kate Veatch

“- Richard Parker: Now all of this could be yours, Lar, if you set your goals and work hard.
- Larry Wilson: My old man worked hard. All they did was give him more work.”

Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson