“- Lost Baggage Clerk: Where are you staying in the Boston area?
- Henry Clark: In the Boston area we are staying in New York.”
William Duell - Lost Baggage Clerk
Steve Martin - Henry Clark

“- Zach: Tell me about the Bronx.
- Diana Morales: What's to tell about the Bronx? It's uptown and to the right.”
Michael Douglas - Zach
Yamil Borges - Diana Morales

“- Buddy: What's it like?
- Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.”

Will Ferrell - Buddy
Ed Asner - Santa

“- Franklin Laszlo: Where are your donuts?
- Todd: Sir, we're a gourmet market.
- Franklin Laszlo: Okay, where are your gourmet donuts?”
Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
Shawn Macdonald - Todd

“- Daniel Miller: Y'know if you really wanna make this place feel like Earth, you should open a few of those mini-malls.
- Helen: It's funny you should say that - a few just opened outside of town. Personally, I wouldn't use them because I don't like yogurt and I love doing my own nails.”

Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller
Marilyn Rockafellow - Helen