“Wear a tie for the interview. And promise me you won't torpedo it on purpose, okay?”

Marisa Tomei - Martha Hackett

- Fiona: Where are your skates? They're part of the uniform.
- Rhonda: Fiona, if I wanted to look like a clown I'd join the circus.
- Fiona: If you were part of my circus I'd have you wiping the elephant butts with a "wet one”.
Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona
Regina King - Rhonda

“- Claire Colburn: Do you ever just think I'm fooling everybody?
- Drew Baylor: You have no idea.”
Kirsten Dunst - Claire Colburn
Orlando Bloom - Drew Baylor

You guys think you're so fucking cool, it makes me sick! “Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazylifestyle!” We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
David Spade - Shiloh

- Barry: Hey Dante! My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night.
- Dante: No shit? And by “girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?
- Barry: [laughing hysterically] Yes.
Jonah Hill - Barry
Peter Dante - Dante