“- Freddy: That's not possible. I mean, they showed zombies taking over the world.
- Frank: They changed it all around. What really happened was back in 1969, in Pittsburgh, at the V.A. hospital, there was a chemical spill and all that stuff kinda leaked down into the morgue and it made all the dead bodies kinda jump around as though it was alive.”

Thom Mathews - Freddy
James Karen - Frank

“- Ben: That's Scout Leader Rogers!
- Carter: He looks like shit!
- Augie: I set him on fire.
- [everyone looks at him]
- Augie: He tried to eat me!”

Tye Sheridan - Ben Goudy
Logan Miller - Carter Grant
Joey Morgan - Augie Foster

“Mom, he's fine, he just fell down a mountain.”
Scott Bairstow - Marty

“There are two reasons why I'm looking at you like this. One because it seems in a few minutes you will officially be the only survivor of this trainwreck, and two, because you didn't break one bone, you don't have a scratch on you.”

Michael Kelly - ER Doctor

“- Hudson Hawk: You're supposed to be all cracked up at the bottom of the hill!
- Tommy Five-Tone: Airbags! Can you fucking believe it?
- Anna Baragli: You're supposed to be blown up into fiery chunks of flesh!
- Tommy Five-Tone: Sprinkler system set up in the back!”

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk
Danny Aiello - Tommy Five-Tone
Andie MacDowell - Anna Baragli