“We're all scared, and why shouldn't we be? What do you think they're using in this war, water pistols?”

James Cagney - Eddie Bartlett

“- Beaumont Livingston: I'm still scared as a motherfucker, O.D. They talking like they serious as hell giving me time for that machine gun shit.
- Ordell Robbie: Come on, man, they just trying to put a fright in your ass.
- Beaumont Livingston: If that's what they doing, they done did it.”
Chris Tucker - Beaumont Livingston
Samuel L. Jackson - Ordell Robbie

“- Matthew 'Matt' Farrell: You probably shouldn't antagonize them, since they have all the loaded guns.
- Lucy Gennario McClane: Will you just take a minute and dig deep for a bigger set of balls, 'cause you're gonna need 'em.”

Justin Long - Matthew 'Matt' Farrell
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Lucy Gennaro McClane

“- Ace Ventura: Don't kill me! Please! I'll never tell anyone, I swear... He's the one you want! Kill him!
- Dan Marino: No, kill him! He's the detective!
- Ace Ventura: No, kill him! He held the ball wrong, remember?! Come on, look at the guy!”

Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura
Dan Marino - Dan Marino

“You don't know what a zip gun would do? Man, you better wear diapers.”

Susan Oakes - Anybodys