“- Mrs. Kendoo: Hello William.
- William Williams: Hi Mrs.Kendoo, is Sally there?
- Mrs. Kendoo: No she's in New York with agents.
- William Williams: Tell her I joined the army, I miss her and I got her face tattooed on my arm.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Mrs. Kendoo
Chris Klein - William Williams

Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis.
Bruce Dern - Admiral Graham

“Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.”
Dolly Parton - Truvy Jones

“- Violet: That's a great tattoo. Beautiful labrys. Are you surprised I know what it is?
- Corky: Maybe.”
Jennifer Tilly - Violet
Gina Gershon - Corky

“- Fishlegs: Your mom let you get a tattoo?
- Tuffnut: It's not a tattoo, it's a birth mark!
- Ruffnut: Okay, I've been stuck with you since birth and that was never there before.
- Tuffnut: Yes it was! You've just never seen me from the left side until now.”
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Fishlegs
T.J. Miller - Tuffnut
Kristen Wiig - Ruffnut