“Why don't I take you to California? You can have fresh squeezed orange juice every day. If you've got a back yard there, you've got fresh fruit.”
Vincent Gallo - Russell Pataki

“- Tyrone C. Love: California, here we come.
- Harry Goldfarb: It's Florida, Ty. Florida.
- Tyrone C. Love: California, Florida, whatever. Either way, your pale ass is getting a tan.”
Marlon Wayans - Tyrone C. Love
Jared Leto - Harry Goldfarb

“- Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
- Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
- Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
- Harris K. Telemacher: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.”
Marilu Henner - Trudi
Sam McMurray - Morris Frost
Tommy Hinkley - Ted
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Sara McDowel: What did you have in mind?
- Harris K. Telemacher: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
- Sara McDowel: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?”
Victoria Tennant - Sara McDowel
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Trudi: He said it's the first day of spring.
- Harris K. Telemacher: Oh shit! Open season on the L.A. freeway!”
Marilu Henner - Trudi
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher