- Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
- Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.
Bruno Kirby - Jess
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“Marriage is the key to promiscuity.”
Morris Chestnut - Lance Sullivan

“- Vinny: I fuckin' thought I was gonna stop cheatin' when I got married, you know. I thought so! And now I'm just fuckin' cheatin' a lot more than I ever did. But I thought the man up there understood. I thought he would fuckin' understand...
- Richie: God has nothing to do with this, Vin!
- Vinny: Oh come on, Ritchie, yes he does. Yes, he does.”
John Leguizamo - Vinny
Adrien Brody - Richie

“Congratulations! You just realized you were married.”

Jennifer Esposito - Ruby

“- Vinny: I'm just tryin' to be a better husband right now. I just don't feel I can do it. All right?
- Gloria: You know, you're like a frickin' yo-yo, back-n-forth, forth-n-back, let's do this, let's not do this. You know what, Vinny? Let's just not do it! Okay? That's it! You think you're the only one that's got feelings? I got a husband at home!”
John Leguizamo - Vinny
Bebe Neuwirth - Gloria