“This object I'm holding here is called... well, some of you may have seen one before, it's called a book. You may have seen one on television.”
Denholm Elliott - Headmaster

“Why don't you watch television or something? And keep it on cartoons, don't try to get smart!”
David Arquette - Gordon

- Buffy Gilmore: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
- Brenda Meeks: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
- Shorty Meeks: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks

“I am not stupid. Heh, heh. I just enjoy giving the appearance of being stupid. You see, from an early age I've reveled in the appearance of stupidity which is given me a great deal of time to think. So I been thinking... No more TV. No more TV dinners. If you like, no more baseball.”
Gary Busey - The Ballplayer

“Am I being punk’d? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?”
Anna Faris - Samantha James