“This object I'm holding here is called... well, some of you may have seen one before, it's called a book. You may have seen one on television.”
Denholm Elliott - Headmaster

“Am I being punk’d? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?”
Anna Faris - Samantha James

- Buffy Gilmore: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
- Brenda Meeks: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
- Shorty Meeks: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks

“- Robbie Freeling: Why can't we get a TV, like everybody else.
- Steve Freeling: No! No, we can't get a TV.
- Robbie Freeling: Great! I'll just have to grow up retarded!
- Steve Freeling: Come on, Rob! Kids don't grow up retarder because of lack of television.”
Oliver Robins - Robbie Freeling
Craig T. Nelson - Steve Freeling

“Why don't you watch television or something? And keep it on cartoons, don't try to get smart!”
David Arquette - Gordon