- Casey: What am I supposed to do? Write a piece called "We're all fucked"?
- Charlie Geller: Yes! That's a perfect title!
Lyle Brocato - Casey
John Magaro - Charlie Geller

“Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament... again.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Zebulun: In Egypt there's food going spare.
- Asher: They've got corn, they've got meat, they've got fruit and drinks.
- Benjamin, Dan: And if we have the time we could see the Sphinx!”
Michael Small - Zebulun
Martin Callaghan - Asher
Nick Holmes - Benjamin
Sebastien Torkia - Dan

“Hey, look! The Golden Gate Bridge! Isn't that great? It's not made out of solid gold like we thought, which is kind of a disappointment, but still!”
Amy Poehler - Joy

“- Hudson Hawk: What's with all these stones in people's backyard?
- Tommy Five-Tone: That is called ruins...”

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk
Danny Aiello - Tommy Five-Tone