“The longer I'm married to you the more you sound like my mother.”

Michael Murphy - Martin

“I want you to get married. I want you to have nine children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage or something.”
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis

“- Darrell: Don't mind us. We're just having sex.
- Evangeline 'Eva' Dandrige: Oh so I should come back in, what, two minutes?”
Dartanyan Edmonds - Darrell
Gabrielle Union - Evangeline 'Eva' Dandrige

“Both men and women want to have sex. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want to have sex fifteen minutes after us. So if you hold out for twenty, she'll be chasing you for five.”
Donal Logue - Dex

“- Eddie Sparks: What? We're short on time. Two minutes time. Well, Dixie do you have any ideas of what we can do in two minutes?
- Dixie Leonard: Not unless your part rabbit.”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard