“- Scott Calvin: Hey, kid, kid... who's in charge here?
- Elf-Larry: You are, and I'm not a kid, I have pointy shoes that are older than you... I'm an elf.”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin
Joshua Satok - Elf-Larry

“- Secretary of Labor: The Department of Labor wishes to note that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.”
Edward LeSaint - Secretary of Labor
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“From now on you're working for me. Most of you know how I operate. If you don't, read the papers and find out!”
Eduardo Ciannelli - Johnny Vanning

“- Ana: Well, it's nice to see you busting your ass today.
- Steve: Oh, that's sarcasm. That is awesome. Yeah, you know, I would love to help, but a captain never works alongside his men.”

Sarah Polley - Ana
Ty Burrell - Steve

“What's sad in a way is that the people that are the most giving, hardworking, and capable of making this world better, usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader.”
Julie Delpy - Celine