“We're the best team in baseball, right now, right this minute, because of you. You're the reason. We're not gonna screw that up, we're gonna be awesome for you right now. Just throw.”

John C. Reilly - Gus Sinski

“Good news fans, the Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact they appear to be beating the crap out of each other.”
Bob Uecker - Harry Doyle

“- Mac Macnally: You're a frickin' primadonna, McGreavy. You don't deserve to wear that uniform.
- Mike McGrevey: You know, you're right, Mac. I'm a disgrace to the Twins. I think you should trade me.
- Mac Macnally: As soon as we find someone dumb enough to take you, that's exactly what we're gonna do.”
John Ashton - Mac Macnally
Scott Patterson - Mike McGrevey

“I made a great reporter out of you, Hildy. But you won't be half as good on any other paper and you know it. We're a team. That's what we are. You need me and I need you, and the paper needs both of us.”
Cary Grant - Walter Burns

“We can't win the old ball game unless we have teamwork. And that's where every John Doe comes in. It's up to him to get together with his teammate. And your teammate, my friends, is the guy next door to you.”

Gary Cooper - John Doe