“- Lickboot: Just pray the police find her, or we're doomed to return to the ranks of the peasantry. And you'd better hope this rumor that dashing Daddy Starling may have survived the avalanche is just a rumor, or we'll be worse than ordinary. We'll be...
- Aunt Pristine Figg: Don't say it!
- Lickboot: Poor.”

Tony Jay - Lickboot
Charlotte Rae - Aunt Pristine Figg

“A little word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.”

Brian O'Halloran - Dante Hicks

“- Maître D': Today we have, for appetizers moules marinières, pâté de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux, that's leek tart, frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd, c’est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of puréed mushroom. It's very delicate, very subtle.
- Mr. Creosote: I'll have the lot.”
John Marwood Cleese - Maître D'
Terry Jones - Mr. Creosote

“It's not a little itty-bitty bean. It's an averaged sized bean. There are kids in parts of the world who would walk 50 miles through quicksand just so they could stick a toe in your swimming pool. There are kids who would eat beans because they've had nothing to eat their whole life but leaves and bark and roots.”

Ben Stiller - Tim Dingman

“Best buck 49 buffet in town.”

Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie