“- Sandra Dee: Bobby, why do you sing the same songs every night? Isn't it boring?
- Bobby Darin: Well, honey, it's an act. What do you expect me to do, sing different songs every night?
- Sandra Dee: Why not? I don't do the same movies every time.”
Kate Bosworth - Sandra Dee
Kevin Spacey - Bobby Darin

“- Alcoholic Customer: Do you serve beer or any alcohol?
- Enid: I wish. Actually you wish, after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.”
Tony Ketcham - Alcoholic Customer
Thora Birch - Enid

“Give the people what they want... old-fashioned apocalyptic porn.”
Benjamin Kanes - Young Birdman

“- Abbott: Put that out. There's no smoking in here.
- Costello: What makes you think I'm smoking?
- Abbott: You've got a cigar in your mouth!
- Costello: I've got shoes on... it doesn't mean I'm walking.”
Bud Abbott - Abbott
Lou Costello - Costello

“- Howard Brackett: Tom, do I look like a homosexual?
- Tom Halliwell: Would you walk for me?”
Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett
Bob Newhart - Tom Halliwell