“- Moly: You guys are top-flight security, best in the whole wide world. You have to defend this whole place with your own lives.
- Day-Day: And I'd die for this shit too. ”
Maz Jobrani - Moly
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“Douche-bags are hygienic products; I take that as a compliment. Thank you.”
Gabriel Millman - Keith - Caped Boy

“Well guys, we've made it to the end of the summer in one piece, except for a few campers who are lepers. ”
Janeane Garofalo - Beth

“I got a PHD. A poser hater degree.”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman

“My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.”
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps