“You and Ursula together would be unbefitting to her social stature, you see? Let me put it in the way you might understand. Where you come from, zebras marry zebras and leopards marry leopards. Stripes for stripes. Spots for spots. Ursula is a stripe and you are a spot. One which I intend to have removed as soon as possible.”

Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope

“You don't know anything about society, Maria; you don't have the satisfaction of avoiding it.”

Michael Douglas - Nicholas Van Orton

“- Jeff Kohlver: I'm a decent guy. Ask anyone. Go ahead. Ask these models.
- Hayley Stark: Of course they will. You're not an idiot. You don't piss where you live. Those girls were your work, and I, on the other hand, was your play.”
Patrick Wilson - Jeff Kohlver
Ellen Page - Hayley Stark

“Everyone comes here, they have a complaint. They sit down. I do waiting for five hours and you're gonna ask me do I have a complaint?”
Kami Jones - Black Woman

“- Ana Pascal: It's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. You wanna come?
- Harold Crick: I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home.”
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal
Will Ferrell - Harold Crick