“- Phone Voice: Do you like scary movies?
- Sidney Prescott: What's the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It's insulting.”
Neve Campbell - Sidney Prescott
Roger Jackson - Phone Voice

“- Buff: I've been making these tapes, you know, video tapes. I ripped off a camcorder up at the mall and I thought, you know, it could be something that I do, be a video artist, you know.
- Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Buff, the postmodern idiot savant. He willl outdo us all.”
Steve Zahn - Buff
Nicky Katt - Tim

“I don't speak with a stupid filmmaker about his poopfetish!”
Dieter Laser - Bill Boss

“- Joseph Tura: Her husband is that great, great Polish actor, Joseph Tura. You've probably heard of him.
- Colonel Ehrhardt: Oh, yes. As a matter of fact I saw him on the stage when I was in Warsaw once before the war. What he did to Shakespeare we are now doing to Poland.”

Jack Benny - Joseph Tura
Sig Ruman - Colonel Ehrhardt

“- Sonny: How can John Wayne die?
- Lefty: Fuckin' Indians got him.”
Michael Madsen - Sonny
Al Pacino - Lefty