“Grownup guys are happy in the morning when they wake up. My dad's so happy, he whistles when he goes to the bathroom. The only time he isn't happy is on Sunday morning when he and my mom wrestle. They kind of like to be alone when they do that. I think it's 'cause they take off their shirts and then they start to make funny noises.”
Mason Gamble - Dennis Mitchell

- Evelyn Ames: You look like someone who can take care of herself. Buy some condoms. Don't feel bad. He probably really likes you. If you can just... enjoy yourself with him like he's enjoying himself with you. That's what I do. I'm in it for the "endolphin" rush.
- Suzanne Vale: Endorphin.
- Evelyn Ames: Whatever.

Annette Bening - Evelyn Ames
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“That's your happiness and my hap-penis.”

Marlon Brando - Paul

“- Pnub: What a waste.
- Mick: I thought you didn't like Curtis.
- Pnub: I'm talkin' about that ass!
- Mick: Well, at least he died happy.”

Elden Henson - Pnub
Seth Green - Mick

“- Paulette: After a man makes love to me, he just goes wild from happiness.
- Charlie Chaplin: I am happy.
- Paulette: Then tell me when you get sad, because I don't want to be around.”

Diane Lane - Paulette Goddard
Robert Downey Jr. - Charles Spencer Chaplin