“- Farva: Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.
- Thorny: You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.”
Kevin Heffernan - Farva
Jay Chandrasekhar - Thorny

“- Bad Blake: I haven't seen anybody blush in I don't know how long.
- Jean Craddock: I can't help it if my capillaries are close to the skin.”
Jeff Bridges - Bad Blake
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Jean Craddock

“- James Ubriacco: Mike, what do you think of this suit?
- Mikey Ubriacco: You look like my principal.”
John Travolta - James
David Gallagher - Mikey Ubriacco

“- Deborah: Do you really hate this dress?
- Nick: What I really hate is this jacket, this white jacket. I look like a Brazilian gigolo.”
Bette Midler - Deborah
Woody Allen - Nick

“- Aaron Levinsky: You look wonderful.
- Claudia Draper: You know what I use this dress for? For the ones who want to sit on Mommy's lap.”

Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Aaron Levinsky
Barbra Streisand - Claudia Draper