“- Jane Spencer: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?
- Frank Drebin: I used to have that problem.
- Jane Spencer: What did you do about it?
- Frank Drebin: I just think about baseball.”

Priscilla Presley - Jane Spencer
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Vanessa Kensington: Did you use protection?
- Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
- Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?”
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“- Karen McCoy: You didn't load the gun?
- J.T. Barker: You told me to buy it, not to load it.”

Kim Basinger - Karen McCoy
Val Kilmer - J.T. Barker

“- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
- Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

- Jennifer Baker: You said "Love Cake"!
- Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
- Jennifer Baker: What?
- Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney. [hands her knee pads] Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.
Jennifer Esposito - Jennifer Baker
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey