“I hear Japs are happy to die for their emperor. A lot of them are going to be made very happy.”
Cary Grant - Capt. Cassidy

“Grownup guys are happy in the morning when they wake up. My dad's so happy, he whistles when he goes to the bathroom. The only time he isn't happy is on Sunday morning when he and my mom wrestle. They kind of like to be alone when they do that. I think it's 'cause they take off their shirts and then they start to make funny noises.”
Mason Gamble - Dennis Mitchell

“- Peter Banning: Jack, Maggie, all you have to do is think one happy thought, and you'll fly like me.
- Maggie Banning: Mommy.
- Jack Banning: My dad, Peter Pan.”
Robin Williams - Peter Banning
Amber Scott - Maggie Banning
Charlie Korsmo - Jack Banning

“Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.”
Kevin Spacey - Larry Mann

“Sometimes you gotta chew your own leg off to get out of life's traps.”
Kevin Spacey - Larry Mann