“- Sgt. Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how you gonna solve that one?
- Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... porking his wife!
- Sgt. Aguado: Why, you..
- Ace: Come on! Now, kiss and make up.”

John Capodice - Sgt. Aguado
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Capt. Wilkins: Ready to fire the town on your order, sir.
- Col. William Tavington: [laughs] The town? Burn the church.”

Adam Baldwin - Capt. Wilkins
Jason Isaacs - Col. William Tavington

“You have to leave now, and never come back here. Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects don't have politics. They're very brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first insect politician.”

Jeff Goldblum - Seth Brundle

“- Veronica Quaife: I don't know what you're trying to say.
- Seth Brundle: I'm saying I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over and the insect is awake. I'm saying... I'll hurt you if you stay.”
Geena Davis - Veronica Quaife
Jeff Goldblum - Seth Brundle

“You can learn a lot from ants. These Brazilian fire ants can teach you a lot about successful societal structure. You see there's one queen in there. The rest are dedicated worker ants. Everybody pulls their weight. Nobody complains. There's harmony and growth.”

David Selby - Dean Buckley