“- Retiring Collage President: Professor Wagstaff, now that you have stepped into my shoes...
- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: Oh, is that what I stepped in? I wondered what it was. If these are your shoes, the least you can do is have them cleaned.”
Reginald Barlow - Retiring Collage President
Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff

“- Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
- Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.”
Luke Wilson - Dr. Peter Flynn
Seymour Cassel - Bert Fischer

“They busted up the wrong house. They went in and blew everyone away. The wrong house! They got the Wong house.”
Paulina Porizkova - Billy Hill

“I've been listening to the distress signal, and I, um, think I made a mistake in the translation.”
Jason Isaacs - D.J.

“- Hammy: I gotta go wee-wee!
- Verne: Not on the lake we drink from!”
Steve Carrell - Hammy
Garry Shandling - Verne