“- Tom Stall: In this family, we do not solve our problems by hitting people!
- Jack Stall: No, in this family, we shoot them!”
Viggo Mortensen - Tom Stall
Ashton Holmes - Jack Stall

“- Roman: How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!
- Chet: Hahaha I guess I'm old-fashioned I like assholes.
- Roman: Ha and I like lips! kisses Connie's lips If I could market lips like those I would make another million.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
John Candy - Chet Ripley

“That is the altar where they worship food!”

Bruce Willis - RJ

“McDonald's... is... family. Isn't that great? You know what I see when I see that? Family. We're one big family. Aren't we? We have mouths to feed. That's a family.”
Michael Keaton - Ray Kroc

“Murray-Dennis!
Dracula-Dennisavich.
Mavis-He's not in his room.
Wayne-He's not by the pool.
Frankenstein-He's not in this pot of soup.”

Keegan-Michael Key - Murray
Adam Sandler - Dracula
Selena Gomez - Mavis
Steve Buscemi - Wayne
Kevin James - Frankenstein