“- Ernie Capadino: Ow. Doesn't that hurt them?
- Dottie Hinson: Doesn't seem to.
- Ernie Capadino: Well, that would bruise the hell out of me.”

Jon Lovitz - Ernie Capadino
Geena Davis - Dottie Hinson

“It's time to boldly go where no cow has gone before.”
Shelley Duvall - Little Bo Peep

“Your cow is calling you.”

Paulina Porizkova - Dallas

You know what just occurred to me? Roping is stupid. This is a cow, not a gazelle, watch. Get off the horse, huh? Ok. And then you walk up to the cow. Look at how good this is working. Then you say "Hi. I'm Bob Vila with 'This Old Herd'. We're going to rope you today". Then you take Mr. Loop and put it around the head of Mr. Cow.
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins

- Mitch Robbins: Those cows trusted us.
- Ed Furillo: Trusted us? They followed us because we yelled, "Yah". They're cattle.
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins
Bruno Kirby - Ed Furillo