“- Clementine Kruczynski: People have to share things.That's what intimacy is.
- Joel Barish: I'm sorry, my life isn't that interesting.
- Clementine Kruczynski: I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?”

Kate Winslet - Clementine Kruczynski
Jim Carrey - Joel Barish

“- Ace Ventura: Excuse me! I'd like to ass you a few questions!
- Emilio: This is not the time, Ace. If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history.”

Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura
Tone Loc - Emilio

“- Eric Bates: Hang on, I got the key.
- Jack Brown: You got the key? Why didn't you say so?
- Eric Bates: You didn't ask me.”
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown

“So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable. And yet you know, when we communicate with one another and we feel that we have connected and we think that we're understood I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion. And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.”
Kim Krizan - Kim Krizan

“Running, reading, going out, staying in, countryside, films - if they're good. Intelligent, of course, kind, pretty - I suppose, but it's not critical. Someone you can really talk to. I think communication is key.”

Ben Chaplin - John