“Good for you. Yay... go gay! But, um, unfortunately I got my own shit to deal with so... I'll see you later.”

Jesse Eisenberg - Jimmy

“- Massarelli: One last time: are you gay?
- Jane: Yes I am. I bet a lot of women tell you that. But in my case, it happens to be true.”
Dennis Boutsikaris - Massarelli
Whoopi Goldberg - Jane

“- Clark Griswold: Could I do your back, honey?
- Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
- Clark Griswold: Could I do your front?
- Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Miss Millie: Your children are so clean. Would you like to work for me, be my maid?
- Sofia: Hell no.”
Dana Ivey - Miss Millie
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“- Leonard Marliston: Cindy, come on, I think it's important in time like this, we offer each other some support.
- Cindy: I'd like to offer the killer's ass some support... in the fucking electric chair.”
Jay Mohr - Leonard Marliston
Kristen Miller - Cindy