“- Stokely: I'm not putting that hack drug up my nose - it's so eighties!
- Zeke: Aliens are taking over the Earth. Weigh it!”
Clea DuVall - Stokely 'Stokes' Mitchell
Josh Hartnett - Zeke Tyler

“- Saul Silver: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
- Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friends. You are my drug dealer. The only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now.”
James Franco - Saul Silver
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“Rob, your not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table... You know what's a weirdword? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened!”
Drew Barrymore - Josie Geller

“The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix with my friends again in a state of full consciousness. It was awful. They reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at them.”
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Mark Renton

“A friend with weed is a friend indeed, but a friend with gold is the best I'm told.”
Warwick Davis - Leprechaun