“- Walt Koontz: How can a man cut off his balls, how do you do that?
- Rusty: Because, I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.
- Walt Koontz: Eh, you're ain't no woman.
- Rusty: I'm just not your idea of a woman, Walt.
- Walt Koontz: You're nobody's idea of a woman.”
Robert De Niro - Walt Koontz
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Rusty

“- Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be one.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: It's my right as a man.”
Michael Palin - Francis
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“- Pherber: How do you think Turner feels like, huh?
- Chas: I don't know. He's weird. And you're weird. You're kinky!
- Pherber: He's a man! Male and female man! And he feels like me.
- Chas: No! No he doesn't!”
Anita Pallenberg - Pherber
James Fox - Chas

“- Ransom: What's your connection with Janet Dunn?
- Michael Jordon: She's my brother.”
Richard Widmark - Ransom
Gene Wilder - Michael Jordon

“- Georgie Weiss: Why would Lugosi wanna do a sex-change flick?
- Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Because he's my friend!”
Mike Starr - Georgie Weiss
Johnny Depp - Ed Wood