“- Phil Deedle: Why can't we have a birthday off like everyone else?
- Elton Deedle: Who's everyone else?
- Stew Deedle: Washington, Lincoln... the baby Jesus Dad!”
Paul William Walker IV - Phil Deedle
Eric Braeden - Elton Deedle
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle

“- Sister Doris: Do you like birthday parties, Leonard... I mean, LeeJohn?
- LeeJohn: I don't know. I never had one.
- Sister Doris: You never had a birthday party?
- LeeJohn: When they took me to my foster home, they lost my birth certificate. So, nobody never knew when my birthday was.”
Loretta Devine - Sister Doris
Tracy Morgan - LeeJohn

“- Gary Wallace: We'll throw a huge party. I mean huge party! Everybody's invited. Women everywhere. All these girls, they're all there. Naked bodies everywhere. They all know my name.
- Wyatt Donnelly: Gary, Gary.
- Gary Wallace: What?
- Wyatt Donnelly: Nobody likes us. Nobody.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Gary Wallace
Ilan Mitchell-Smith - Wyatt Donnelly

“- Greta: One of my friends died yesterday, Mother. Do you mind if I take a few hours off to remember him?
- Racine Gibson: But we're having a party, dear.”
Erika Anderson - Greta
Pat Sturges - Racine Gibson

“When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th.”
Gloria Stuart