- Nathaniel Williamson: I was very quick to judge you.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Aw, what do they say, son? Don't judge unle... no, let's see, judge not, judge not, judge ye not...
- Nathaniel Williamson: "Judge not lest ye be judged". Matthew 7, verse 1.
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes

“- Jack: When I was about thirteen, I had this sort of identity crisis. I used to think I was one of the characters.
- Angela: You thought you were Audrey Hepburn?
- Jack: No. I used to think I was the cat.”

Jeremy Northam - Jack
Sandra Bullock - Angela

“- Tommy: La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
- Richard: [walks in] Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
- Tommy: That was from 'Star Wars'.
- Richard: I know.”

Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

"The Godfather" is the I Ching. "The Godfather" is the sum of all wisdom. "The Godfather" is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli". What day of the week is it? "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday."
Tom Hanks - Joe Fox

- Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "to thine own self be true".
- Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
- Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
- Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
Susan Mohun - Heather
Alicia Silverstone - Cher