“- Jack Lawrence: This kid is a major pain in the ass, he's so damn annoying.
- Carrie: You don't like anything that's annoying.
- Jack Lawrence: Who does?”
Billy Crystal - Jack Lawrence
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Carrie Lawrence

“- P.L. Travers: Will the child be a nuisance? It's an 11-hour flight.
- Woman with Infant: Uh...
- P.L. Travers: Jolly good.”
Emma Thompson - P.L. Travers
Laura Waddell - Woman with Infant

“- Blunted: If this works... she won't bother me.
- Flint Sky: Your wife?
- Blunted: No, her mother. The old hag wants grandchildren.”

Jonathan Brewer - Blunted
Morris Birdyellowhead - Flint Sky

“If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children, that usually helps.”

Olivia Colman - Hotel Manager

- Judge Cotton: Does this guy "Candy" Johnson bother you, my dear?
- Elizabeth Cotton: Not half as much as I bother him.
Frank Morgan - Judge Cotton
Lana Turner - Elizabeth Cotton