- Dexter Reed: Ed, I don't know how to say this...
- Ed: Oh, well, you just go: "Thiiiissssssssssss".
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed
Kel Mitchell - Ed

“- Maxwell Smart: Oh great, I have gum on the bottom of my new shoes.
- Guy on the plane: He's trying to light his shoe! It's a shoe bomb! Get him!
- Maxwell Smart: No, it's gum.
- Lady on the plane: Gun? Lady on the plane: he's got a gun!
- Maxwell Smart: No... Guuummm.”
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

- The Old Man Parker: Aaah! "Fra-gee-leh!". It must be Italian!
- Mother Parker: Uh, I think that says fragile, honey.
- The Old Man Parker: Huh? Oh, yeah.

Darren McGavin - The Old Man Parker
Melinda Dillon - Mother Parker

“- Carter: Who died, Lee?
- Lee: You!
- Carter: Detective Yu?
- Lee: Not Yu, you!
- Carter: Who?
- Lee: You!
- Carter: Who?
- Lee: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
- Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth?”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“- Phoebe: Mom says you have to let me in or else it's prescription!
- Sean: That's 'discrimination' jerkoid! Prescription is drugs, which you're on if you think you're getting in here!”

Ashley Bank - Phoebe
Andre Gower - Sean