“- Peter Highman: That was William Shakespeare. Have you heard of him?
- Ethan Tremblay: Yes, I've heard of Shakespeare. He was a famous pirate. By the way it’s ‘Shakesbeard’.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Peter Highman
Zach Galifianakis - Ethan Tremblay

“- Meg Altman: This whole thing makes me nervous.
- Lydia Lynch: Why?
- Meg Altman: Ever read any Poe?
- Lydia Lynch: No, but I loved her last album!”

Jodie Foster - Meg Altman
Ann Magnuson - Lydia Lynch

“Shakespeare was not meant for taverns... nor for tavern louts.”
Alan Mowbray - Granville Thorndyke

- Nun: Let me get this straight: you don't believe in God because of "Alice in Wonderland"?
- Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass".
Betty Aberlin - Nun
Matt Damon - Loki

“- Michael: You read the Count of Monte Cristo lately?
- Shakes: I dunno, 10 years ago.
- Michael: I read a little bit every night. I read words like revenge, sweet, lasting revenge.”
Brad Pitt - Michael
Jason Patric - Shakes