“- Patty Bernstein: Give me a bite of that corn dog.
- Navin: What about germs?
- Patty Bernstein: Put a rubber on it.”
Catlin Adams - Patty Bernstein
Steve Martin - Navin

“- Max Conners: Have you any idea what that meat is doing to your arteries?
- Page Conners: Haven't you heard? Cigarettes dissolve cholesterol.”
Sigourney Weaver - Max Conners
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Page Conners

“- Vada Sultenfuss: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate than my right. It can only mean one thing: cancer. I'm dying.
- Harry Sultenfuss: [making a sandwich] Okay, sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss
Dan Aykroyd - Harry Sultenfuss

“- Lincoln Hawk: You know, if you're hungry, there's a great place up here for good steak. What do you say we stop?
- Michael Cutler: Sir, you're going to be the victim of cholesterol poisoning. Later in life, you'll just start to rot away.
- Lincoln Hawk: You're just full of good humor, aren't ya Mike?”
Sylvester Stallone - Lincoln Hawk
David Mendenhall - Michael Cutler

“- Shelly DeVoto: You know, Vada, you have to watch what you eat at the carnival. I remember one summer I went with my two older cousins, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they had nephritis.
- Vada Sultenfuss: Nephritis is a kidney disease, you don't get it from eating hot dogs.”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Shelly DeVoto
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss