“- Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
- Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
- Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
- Clark Griswold: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Motorcycle Cop: Where's the fire?
- Dallas: [lying] This kid fell off his motorcycle, I'm taking him to the hospital.
- Motorcycle Cop: Is he hurt bad?
- Dallas: How should I know? I ain't no doc.
[Motorcycle Cop goes away]”

Ed Jackson - Motorcycle Cop
Matt Dillon - Dallas Winston

“Interpol? Fucking Interpol? I'm not going to fucking prison! I'm not cut out for that shit. Have you seen these fucking arms, man? These wet noodles will prevent very few prison rapes.”
Jay Baruchel - Francie Tobin

“- Marshal Nalhober: Sheriff Dent. I just want to shake your hand. I wish there were more men like you in law enforcement. You are one big dick cop.
- Sheriff Chappy Dent: Thank you.”
Ronald Francis Perlman - Nalhober
William H. Macy - Chappy

“- Lookout: What's up man, you po-po nigga, what's up.
- Jeff Cole: I'm no fucking po-po.”

K.C. Collins - Lookout
Omar Epps - Jeff Cole