“- Momma: Who the hell are you?
- Larry: I'm Owen's friend.
- Momma: Owen doesn't have a friend!
- Larry: That's because he's shy.
- Momma: No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid!”
Anne Ramsey - Momma
Billy Crystal - Larry

“- Zach: You are such a prick!
- Sparky: Most of my friends are pricks.
- Zach: Most of your pricks are friends.”
John Ritter - Zach
Peter Donat - Sparky

“- Assistant Mechanic: Never heard of no one so shit-all stupid as you drivin' off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
- Clark Griswold: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town.”
John Diehl - Assistant Mechanic
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood comes from, right? You know where the blood comes from, right? His head and his feet. So, A - he's stupid, and B - he can't run.”
Isaiah Washington - Savon Garrison

“Don't stand there gawping! Like you've never seen the hand o' God before!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - General