“- Garrett: What are you?
- Devon: Frankly, we're the reason cousins shouldn't marry.”
Cary Elwes - Garrett
Eric Idle - Devon

“I'm not my father, Diane, just like you're not your father. If we were our fathers, what we did last night would only be legal in Arkansas.”
Jay Mohr - Anthony 'Tony' Cortino

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: You mean you married your own father?
- Mrs. Montenegro: It's not like you think. It was a simple wedding, done very tastefully.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. Montenegro

“- Oh: I just want to lay with her so badly.
- Zed: I don't see it. I mean she's cute, but I don't think I'd lay with her.
- Oh: She's your sister. I mean, it would be like laying with your mother.
- Zed: Which was a big mistake, I see that now.”

Michael Cera - Oh
Jack Black - Zed

“- Jimmy Mitchelson: He wants to marry his sister.
- Freddy: He better not come back.
- Jimmy Mitchelson: That's right, or we'll tie you to a tree, fuck you in the ass while we jerk you off. Show you what we really do to perverts around here.”
Mark Pellegrino - Jimmy Mitchelson
Henry Cho - Freddy