“- Caroline Wakefield: What's Washington like?
- Robert Wakefield: What's Washington like? Well its like Calcutta, surrounded by beggars. The only difference is the beggars in Washington wear fifteen hundred dollar suits and they don't say please or thank you.”
Erika Christensen - Caroline Wakefield
Michael Douglas - Robert Wakefield

“Washingtonland, the new Disney theme park.”
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“Everyone's trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in.”
Judd Hirsch - Julius Levinson

“- Emory Roberts: The only place we know we're safe is Washington. We gotta get on that plane, we gotta get in the air.
- Rufus Youngblood: What if President Kennedy needs the airplane?
- Emory Roberts: President Kennedy will not need the airplane.”
Austin Nichols - Emory Roberts
Nico Evers-Swindell - Rufus Youngblood

“- Butt-head: Wait a minute. We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. This is the Hoover Dam.”

Mike Judge - Butt-Head
Cloris Leachman - Old Woman on Plane and Bus