“- Butt-head: Wait a minute. We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. This is the Hoover Dam.”

Mike Judge - Butt-Head
Cloris Leachman - Old Woman on Plane and Bus

“- Bill: Okay, Ted, George Washington. One: the father of our country.
- Ted: Two: born on President's Day.
- Bill: Three: the dollar-bill guy.”

Alex Winter - Bill S. Preston
Keanu Reeves - Ted 'Theodore' Logan

“- Lula Fortune: That Johnnie is one clever detective. You know how clever?
- Sailor Ripley: How clever?
- Lula Fortune: He told me once he could find an honest man in Washington.”
Laura Dern - Lula Fortune
Nicolas Cage - Sailor Ripley

“If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog!”
Diana Scarwid - Bess Truman

“- Caroline Wakefield: What's Washington like?
- Robert Wakefield: What's Washington like? Well its like Calcutta, surrounded by beggars. The only difference is the beggars in Washington wear fifteen hundred dollar suits and they don't say please or thank you.”
Erika Christensen - Caroline Wakefield
Michael Douglas - Robert Wakefield