“He can't even do the simple things, like fail locally.”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“Mr. Preston, this operation will be a failure if we all die!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Brad Little

“Without the Toxic Avenger gone, we will never win the hearts of the little people of Tromaville. And without Tromaville, we'll never take New York. And without New York, we're just another failure!”
Rick Collins - Inc. Chairman

“- Sheriff Buelton: Ok Sambo, Ok... You win this one... But there's more than one way to skin a cat.
- Sfc. Ed Tippet, Provost Marshal's Office: You better believe there is, Jim.”
G.D. Spradlin - Sheriff Buelton
Dorian Harewood - Sergeant Tippet

“- Cindy: Girls have to do everything. Boys are totally clueless when it comes to sex. It starts with them trying to unhook our bras, fumbling around, and it never changes. Wait until they try to put their dick into you.
- Diana: Please don't say they need help with that.
- Cindy: Always.”
Kristen Miller - Cindy
Jessica Driscoll - Diana, Principal's Secretary